So I've lost the battle in finding the perfect apartment in New York City. It's not a nice place to settle down for normal people, but figuring that this would be the only time in my life living in some "greatest city on earth," I thought I was willing to pay more for the luxurious life. But in the end, New York City is about destroying dreams. "But don't you get paid more by your job in New York?" you ask. Yes, I do. But unfortunately, salary increases have not been keeping up with increases in tax, rent, everything, food, transportation, and tuition. I've met far too many people who move to New York City imagining their lives in a high-rise apartment south of 110th Street with, for the big dreamers, a beautiful view of the skyline - only to find themselves on the 5th floor of a should-be-condemned walk-up with views of a brick wall from their kitchenette window. For normal people, New York City life is defined by compromise and sacrifice. If you refuse to believe me, then you are in luck. There are a few ways you can live the glamorous life in New York, and here are the top five:
(1) The first and perhaps most practical method of living the Manhattan luxury high life, although no doubt the most arduous, is to get a job that pays an exorbitantly high salary. Unfortunately high-paying careers usually require either years of post-baccalaureate education or years of working unreasonable hours, both options which leave you with precious lost time, increased debt, and decreased health. However, the payoff after 10 plus years, to some, is worth the suffering.
(2) The second most practical way to live the Manhattan high life is to inherit your high rise condo home. However, this method is nearly, if not completely, impossible for the average Joe, as it presents the very real problem of needing to be related to someone who owns a desirable apartment.
(3) Another tactic similar to that of the inheritance method but significantly more feasible is to marry someone whose job pays an exorbitantly high salary. This method poses the slightly inconvenient, though notably very possible, task of meeting someone wealthy and, subsequently, falling in love with them. However, should you be the type who marries solely for money, then you can skip the love, making your job considerably easier.
(4) Rob a bank. Fortunately, banks have a lot of money, and New York City is full of banks. Unfortunately, you risk incarceration, since robbing banks - like assaulting a bus operator, as the MTA enjoys reminding the public - is prohibited by law.
(5) The last most practical method to living the city high life is to live somewhere else. Choosing a significantly less desirable area, such as East Harlem, The Bronx, Queens, parts of Brooklyn, and Jersey City, you might find yourself suddenly presented with several, almost-affordable luxury high rise apartments. The downside? Your nights might be plagued with inconvenient sounds on the street, such as loud music, overground train horns, or people screaming. The commute to your job will increase more than three-fold, you risk paying thousands of dollars in bridge and tunnel tolls, and you also won't be near a Trader Joe's.
Some people believe that if they search hard enough and long enough, they will find the perfect apartment for the perfect price in the perfect location and without a broker's fee. For you with high hopes, here is a rule of thumb: In New York City, if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.
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